biggest questions
As someone who believes he is purposely being kept in the dark by seen and unseen forces, I am seeking answers to what this reality truly is. I need to know why I’m stuck here and how I’m supposed to move forward. The following questions are currently the most important to me.
I have come to the realization that this reality is a lie and is being manipulated in order to test, use, and eat us (utilize our attention). I believe that every interaction I have with the world around me is a set up and that (almost) nothing ever goes smoothly because the forces who are in control make sure to cause stressful or odd situations to see how I’ll/we’ll respond to them.
I’m not sure what this place truly is, but it appears to be a combination of a human zoo, an energy farm, a show (entertainment), a competition or game where we are pawns and are being gambled on, a nefarious reality where hidden entities shadow and use our bodies to experience physicality, and a school. An “experience” school, probably with the intention of becoming better “characters” for their shows/games or better vessels for them to be able to use.
The limits placed on our bodies, our brains, our emotional capacity to handle loss, heartbreak, etc. are an illusion used as a form of control and as a way to create drama, stories, feelings, thoughts…for them to utilize.
Is everyone around me a plant/projection or is it a mix?
I know for a fact that much of my reality involves projections being placed directly in my path, for various (possible) reasons: color flashing, brainwave eating, actors to create drama, to relay a message, as cameras, to fuck with me, etc.
Is everyone around me a plant or is it a mix of plants and regular people? Do the plants know they’re plants or are they zoning in and out of being used/shadowed like how the agents would take over bodies in the Matrix movies?
Even if this reality is just some kind of lower frequency dream and the majority of “people” around me are just my own subconscious, are there entities that are NOT? What is really happening?
Who are the people speaking through me?
I sleep talk with OTHER people seemingly speaking through me. I know this is true because I record my sleep each night with an audio and video recorder.
Who are these people? What is causing this to happen?
For instance, once I said “we’re going to eat like kings tonight” when that's not something I would ever say, considering since 2002, I've been able to eat whatever I want, whenever I want. Was the entity speaking through me planning on utilizing my physical body while I was awake and eating a meal that night? Would this entity/entities be able to influence my appetite/choice of food?
Sometimes the recordings are eerie as fuck. For instance, the time whoever was coming through me said “you know...you know what 2/3rds, means, right? 2/3rds? 2/3rds of an ounce. 2/3rds (in?) back. 2/3rds of one. The black hole.”
Or the time someone said “Yikes. Oh boy! Hallelujah! God damn! Oh Judas! Mm! Mm Mm”. I've never used the word Hallelujah in waking reality (unless you count singing along to a Leonard Cohen song), or "Judas" in any way remotely like this. This recording is fairly shocking to me and clearly illustrates some hardcore (Southern?) man speaking through me.
One time I called myself "Bayless" and said "come on, get your shit together, Bayless" as if this Bayless guy was losing consciousness in his dimension and somehow ending up in my body/bed, as a result. Whatever is happening, these people are definitely not me.
(NOTE: for the last year or more, the major sleep talking I was going through has stopped, aside from a quick sentence here and there. I haven’t changed a thing in my life, so clearly someone must be manipulating who or what has access to me from the “other side”.)
Why are these physical symptoms happening and who are these, seemingly astral, beings who appear to be punching me/shocking me in order to stop me from falling back to sleep in the morning?
The constant synchronicities and plants/projections being placed around me on a regular basis wouldn't be so negative to me if I didn't also go through, sometimes debilitating, physical symptoms that accompany various activities.
One of my major symptoms is that my face and head are seem to get covered in some kind of electro-static spider web. This occurs whenever I use my iPad, watch a video on my computer, watch TV, go to a public place like a drug store, supermarket, etc, or even just hanging out with other people. This is often accompanied by my eyes getting a bit blurry and me suddenly feeling lethargic. It's as if I'm suddenly being shadowed etherically by beings that I cannot see. It's extremely uncomfortable and I am unable to relax and just interact with people when this is happening.
Often times, someone will stand next to me in a store and I will suddenly feel something on my head, as if it's some kind of mind reading detector or an energy sucker. I really have no idea what's going on, but it's rare for me to ever feel completely comfortable, physically.
It’s particularly bad when I lay down at night to go to sleep. As I lay there, almost immediately I can detect this moving, swirling energy around me and then I will suddenly see shapes or figures, as if something or somethings are coming over to me. I will then watch as this energy seems to being doing something to me. While it’s happening, I actually feel sensations on my face or head or other body parts where the motion is happening…and I’m absolutely certain that something is being done to my physical or etheric body. It’s been happening for years, virtually every single night.
Sometimes I will even put a pillow on top of my face to get them to stop, and when I do this, I often can feel them trying to move the pillow. I literally can feel them trying to push it off me, but they do not have the capability to do so (recall the flinging of the bottlecap scene in the movie Ghost, if you’ve seen it).
At times, when it seems this energy is pissed off about what I am doing, I will feel a sudden pin prick or a devastating itch on an exposed area near where the pillow is (or on my foot or another body area), which I ABSOLUTELY know is them doing it as a symbol for me to stop or as some kind of punishment.
I went to a doctor in NYC at one point to have a brain scan and other tests and of course nothing was wrong with me, so I'm clearly picking up on something metaphysical. I need to know what is happening and how to stop it. My reality wouldn't be such a strain on my mental health, if these physical symptoms were not occurring along side all the other nonsense I experience.
Hypnic Jerks: For a while now, after not getting a full night’s sleep, I am often unable to fall back to sleep each morning. The moment I drift off, I have what science refers to as a “hypnic jerk”. I literally lie in bed for 2 or more hours and every time I drift off, there is a sudden shock to an area of my body, usually my stomach or groin. It feels like a ghost is punching me in those areas in order to wake me up.
As I drift asleep, it seems they have greater ability to have a physical effect on me, so I feel the punch/push…and awaken suddenly each time. It happens numerously on many mornings.
Throughout my life, I often have ear worms (bits of songs playing over and over in my head) while lying in bed. On a recent morning, the ear worm kept singing “shock the monkey”, all the while I was actually being jarred/shocked awake while trying to fall back to sleep….over and over again. It was very suspicious.
UPDATE: I have been doing tests of the situation and have determined it is ABSOLUTELY happening externally and being done to me by some kind of hidden, astral entity or entities (or some kind of hidden AI).
Normally I am laying on my back or side and this is when my stomach or groin is being punched, as I fall asleep. I decided to test laying completely flat on my stomach and sure enough, immediately, as I drifted to sleep the first time, there was a “hypnic jerk” in my right buttocks, instead of my stomach or groin.
I did another immediate test and laid back on my back but laid a couple pillows across the top of my body and draped my own arm to cover my face. As I drifted off, I was suddenly “shocked” in both of my feet this time, the only area of my body fully exposed. I then experienced whoever is in my etheric space attempting to push my draped arm off my face, with serious force…the moment I drifted off. It was so forceful that I woke and laughed out loud about it because it was so obvious.
The 2 big questions are…who the hell is doing this to me and why are they doing it?
(Of course, “science” has no real idea what causes hypnic jerks or what they truly are. This seems to be the case in many areas like this, which involve the non-physical and the seemingly metaphysical.)
Who are the nefarious dream agents, seemingly not at all connected to my own subconscious, speaking negatively to me (or incorrectly about me) and then seemingly able to end the dream, causing me to awaken back in my bed?
I have many examples of this kind of thing happening, but here are 3 of the most obvious:
Dream 1:
I was with a girl I didn’t recognize and she was trying to get me to make out with her. I suddenly became lucid.
I knew I should try to get information from her, just in case I was actually residing in some parallel universe or time period, so I asked her what year it was. I knew something in the dream wasn't right, so I continued to focus on asking her that question, in order to verify that THAT reality (and maybe my own, in waking state) are lies.
As soon as I kept asking her what year it was, over and over again, without her giving me an answer, a military/thug type man showed up and looked down at me and said "Now, why did you have to go and do that?". Then he did something physical to me and I immediately woke up in my bed.
Dream 2:
As I’ve mentioned, I often have dreams where the people I interact with seem in no way tied to my own subconscious or to my brain just working shit out from previous days. This dream is a perfect example of this happening.
In the dream, I was in my hotel room at the Four Seasons and hanging out with my father. I began to get lucid and he started acting weird and then he went into the bathroom and seemed to lay in the bathtub. I went in to the bathroom and suddenly he was some younger female.
She then went into the living area and seemed to be disgruntled. As I became even more lucid I demanded that this girl tell me what was happening to me and why I’m going through whatever I’m going through. I was specifically addressing what I’ve been going through the last 10+ years with feeling like I’m being kept in the dark and fucked with or tested.
She responded to me in a sarcastic, seemingly angry tone (as if she disliked me): “I’m not authorized to tell you”.
Immediately after that I felt one side of head getting numb and my ear seemingly filling with something that made my hearing difficult and I began to drift off and suddenly woke up in my own bed.
Dream 3:
I was watching a teacher in the front of some classroom do some kind of presentation. Suddenly, in response to something he just spoke of, he says: "Like Ayrin, like Ayrin here" and he was looking right at me.
It was clear he was attempting to say my actual name (Aaron) but he just wasn't sure how to pronounce it. He was saying my name in a way someone who didn’t know how to pronounce it may perceive was the correct way. But it was completely wrong.
Clearly my own subconscious would know how to pronounce my own name, so this man was some kind of external entity, just like the other people I mentioned above. Who are these people?
What does all the hand/one eye symbolic nonsense in the entertainment industry and in the media REALLY signify? The hand over one eye, weird hand symbols being flashed, gang signs, the 666 symbol, etc.
(I have researched this topic and have heard many theories, but I’m looking for real truth.)
I think the eye thing (one hand covering one eye, one hand snipping at one eye, one hand covering one eye with the 666 (OK symbol), etc. may have to do with one eye being used as a camera in return for being given fame.
It’s possible it means “selling the soul” (eyes are the windows to the soul). It also may have to do with shutting off access to either the right or left side of the brain (the feminine or the masculine) because one of the sides doesn’t want to watch your life being utilized in this fashion (as if the mother represents the feminine and the father represents the masculine).
Also, 666 = 2/3rds (.666) which may mean 2 of 3 eyes being used (instead of all 3, if you include the 3rd eye) and it may all relate to Freemasonry.
I also believe the 666 symbol (made by Paul in the pic here) represents the number and symbol of the “Beast” and probably is also a sign that someone has sold their soul for fame (is fame the beast?). It’s probably why it’s constantly being flashed by celebrities, politicians and athletes.
What do the other symbols and creepy occult actions really mean? For instance, young kids (or attractive females) flashing legitimate gang signs. This can’t be an actual child having learned the gang signs and then using them when pictures are taken. These people, children, girls, actually appear to be possessed by entities/spirits who are using their bodies as puppets.
The flashing of these signs seem to represent secret signals to other entities/aliens/AI who are also possessing human bodies and they're being used as a means of identification between each of them.
Notice also how the little boy with the pink hair in the photo above (who is transitioning to be a girl, because OF COURSE he is) is shown below wearing a shirt that is, once again, depicting the covering up of one eye. It’s completely nefarious:
I have proof that celebs/people I give attention to (whether positive or negative) somehow show up in my day to day life to provide me service or to simply interact with me, as clones of their “original” selves (or even as their actual selves, when I’m in L.A or NYC).
You can tell mostly by their eyes and voices.
The same thing happens with family members/friends who also appear as clones of themselves in my day to day life. How is this happening?
Take these 4 occurrences, which all represent the same nonsense/set ups and tell me why they are happening?
I accidentally leave my sunglasses on top of some recycling bin in the airport and when I go back to try to find them, I see a guy about 15 feet in front of me right next to the same bin and he's seemingly taking sunglasses out from a case in his hand and putting a different pair in their place. I assume they're mine and I yell out “Hey, did you just find those?”, when suddenly I hear some security guy to my left yell out to me.
Turns out the security guy had mine. This other guy JUST HAPPENED to be standing at the location I left them and JUST HAPPENED to be putting sunglasses into a case right when I looked at him.
What the fuck is the purpose of this kind of set up? Who is creating this? Am I being watched and people just want to see some kind of confused communication and see how I react? Is it some kind of test/lesson to show that I should never just assume anything?
My Aunt was on her way to visit me while I was in Seattle and she’d be arriving at my hotel in a couple minutes. I realized I hadn’t looked at my Uber app to see how close she was for a few minutes now, so she might be here already…since she was only a few minutes away last time I looked.
As I'm pulling my cell phone out of my pocket, my hotel room phone rings, so I assume it’s the front desk calling me to tell me she had arrived and to ask whether or not they should send her up.
Normally when the front desk calls my room to let me know something like a food delivery is here (that I already know is here because I track it in the app), I don't even give them a chance to say anything, I just immediately pick up the phone and say "yes, please send them up" (so to avoid ANY distractions or lengthy explanation by them about someone being here for me). It may seem dick-ish, but I do it anyway because I try to avoid having a phone receiver to my ear for too long and because I believe the people on the other end are part of whatever/whoever is fucking with me in this reality.
Anyway, I answer the room phone and INSTEAD of doing what I would normally do (9 times out of 10), I decide to just say "hello?" this time. Not sure why I did it, but I did it. NOPE, the front desk isn't calling about Aunt Marsha arriving, they're calling, randomly, for a different, completely extraneous reason (when I haven't even gotten a single phone call from the hotel the entire time I’ve been here). Some girl says "Hi, I'm Brittany and I just wanted to know how you're enjoying your stay so far?".
I tell her her call is bullshit and was done to fuck with me because they knew I would think it was for one thing but then it would end up being for something completely different, at the EXACT TIME my Aunt might have been arriving (she would arrive about 5 minutes later).
The key here is that normally I would have just said "please send her up" without even giving them the chance to say anything. So had I done that, this Brittany person would have been like "huh, what?". This was all a set up, done on purpose to fuck with me.
I need to know why this kind of thing happens. Is it truly just to fuck with me? Is someone laughing about it? Is there an audience who just wants to see my reaction to the whole thing? What I'm saying is…this kind of thing happens all the fucking time.
I call an Uber and it says it will be a BMW 3 series. It’s about a minute away and suddenly a white BMW mini-suv type car pulls up and it seems to have an Uber type logo on the windshield (but I can’t fully see it). It's being driven by some really gay looking guy in a wifebeater and he is looking at me while I’m standing there on the sidewalk (in West Hollywood, which is the most gay area of Los Angeles). I’m wondering if he is my driver.
Even though the app shows my Uber as being half a block away still, I wonder if it simply hasn’t updated fast enough to show him right there now. So, there is this constant back and forth between me looking at the app and then up at his car to see if he is motioning to me. Each time I look up, this dude is just staring at me and I can’t really tell anything.
I have no idea whether this particular BMW could fall under any 3 series models, as I'm not really familiar with which series is which. While this is happening, I already have a sense this is one of those typical “let’s fuck with him just to get his mind working (or some other bullshit)” moments and sure enough about 10 seconds later, a black BMW pulls up and it’s my ACTUAL driver.
So, in West Hollywood, where guys are constantly out roaming for other dudes (I was there to buy incense at a smoke shop), my Uber is supposed to be a BMW…and around the same moment my driver is supposed to be arriving, some other BMW pulls directly in front of me and I'm forced to try to figure out if it's my driver. But, the guy in the car is just sitting there, staring at me.
I mean, I was one second away from going over to his car to ask him, but I JUST KNEW it was a fucking set up and didn't do it. Once again, like the above examples, it seems like I’m in some kind of “never assume anything” school and I’m just being tested (or fucked with). WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?
Fedex Home Delivery keeps leaving my boxes at the left side gate of my building, not directly on my porch, which all other delivery people normally do (including the REGULAR Fedex deliveries). So today I decided to devote myself to keeping an eye on the security camera at that gate to see when he arrives, so I can go ask him why he isn't putting the packages where everyone else does.
While I'm doing this, I suddenly get a Fedex notification that the package I was waiting for has been delivered..and I'm like WTF? I know that once I get that notification, it's too late to speak to the driver...which was the main reason I had the security camera up on my computer all day. But there definitely weren't any Fedex trucks and there is no package showing up on the camera, by the gate.
So, I now have to go outside and try to figure out what happened. After searching around my entire building, I find my package on the OTHER SIDE of the building at the RIGHT side gate. This has never happened before with Fedex Home Delivery, who always park on the left side of the building and leave packages at the left gate.
I mean, there’s even a giant sign at the right side gate that says “all deliveries must be made to the left gate side” (where most people just know the code and enter the gate and leave the packages on my actual porch). Once again, this has never happened (someone leaving a package at the right side gate).
The one day I decide to go through the hassle of keeping on eye on the fucking camera for hours, the "universe" changes the whole thing up, seemingly on purpose, to fuck with me. Why? I have dozens more examples of this exact kind of thing occurring whenever I make a special effort to change my normal routine. Am I in some kind of much more lame version of Curb Your Enthusiasm and people are watching to see stupid shit like this happen to me?
Why are people constantly planted directly at the one place I want to go to in a store?
Time and time again, I'll enter a virtually empty store and the ONE PLACE I need to go, there will be someone right there. Whether it's an employee or a customer, it doesn't matter, they just happen to be at the exact spot my item is at.
For instance, I’ll go into an empty CVS to buy band aids and the only person I see, who is an employee, is standing right there, at the only place in the store I need to go, stocking the shelf. I'm not going to list more examples because they're all the same scenario. I know this is all on purpose, but I need to know why it's happening.
Does it simply have to do with me looking at them/giving them attention/light from my eyes in order to gain points to be able to buy the things I’m there for? Are they projected there to fuck with me/agitate me? Am I just being trolled? Is an audience watching and they want to see how I'll handle it? Are they just trying to get energy from me - the anger I'll feel when I have to encounter them? Are they acting as a camera? Am I acting as a camera and someone else wants to see whoever I’m looking at? WHAT THE FUCK IS THE REASON?
Why are people wearing grey always planted in my path?
I’d say about 90% of the time I leave where I am or enter wherever I am going, someone with grey will suddenly appear in my path.
For instance, I open my hotel room door to go out for the first time of the day and suddenly someone directly across from my room, wearing grey, will open their door and exit at the same moment, making sure I see him.
Or once I’m outside, I’ll decide to walk into a convenience store and the moment before I get to the door, someone will appear walking in ahead of me…wearing grey.
It happens constantly and I know it’s on purpose, but I cannot establish what it’s supposed to mean.
It happens so often, I even took extensive video of it occurring while I was staying in Beverly Hills recently (second video on that page).
I know this reality seems to be based very much on the colors of the prism and collecting colors each day based on the chakras, but these “greys” as I call them, are the worst.
Possibilities include:
They’re simply there as a message, possibly an indication I have not exuded enough of the color of that particular day. For instance, maybe I would see an actual color (blue, green, etc) in place of the grey if I was on the right chakra track?
Or, perhaps it’s a symbol that the “universe/simulation” doesn’t want me to do the particular thing I’m doing when I encounter the grey people? Like going into a liquor store, as an example.
They are some kind of energy retrieval source to collect the light from my eyes when I look at them. I know this reality is very “attention” based and the people around me seem to be seeking attention or want to be looked at. Maybe the grey absorbs the color or light from me in a faster way?
They are some kind of vessels to load or unload entities into my etheric, hidden reality (to shadow me, use me, etc).
They are some kind of security guards. They appear when I’m going somewhere or returning as some kind of protection for me?
They act as “coolers” in order to make my reality negative, to make it impossible for me to achieve what I desire. This seems to have happened a few times, such as the time I got on a rental electric scooter in Los Angeles and began riding and a woman wearing grey got out of a bus, directly in my view, and suddenly the scooter wouldn’t work anymore.
To me, It’s a form of “gang stalking”. I just don’t know the actually meaning of why it’s happening. At this point, it’s a form of mental torture to me. Like everything else here, it seems I’m being purposely kept in the dark about what it all means….and will just have to continually beat my head against the wall to try to figure out why it’s occurring.
(NOTE: there are times when the greys aren’t there and they have been replaced by other color groups. For instance, recently, I experience a few day period where EVERY time I was out in public and needed to buy something or receive service in some way, someone with either green or blue (or both) would suddenly be right next to me during the transaction or actually serving me.)
Are the chakras the key to humanity and/or reality?
It absolutely appears that the daily chakra color collection thing is real and that websites and people in the real world appear to flash me colors on purpose, depending on the day of the week.
Is this really the key to living a comfortable life here, as a HUE-man?
There are many theories out there about chakras, some new age, some spiritual, some nefarious. There is even a theory that it’s an easy way to compartmentalize humans, in order for some hidden intelligence to easily access and utilize our energy.
I don’t doubt that this dark theory is the truth, because based on my TV research, I know the intelligence coming through the TV is trying to establish which “hues” are resonating most prominently in each person, while they are watching.
I can’t stand the idea of the whole thing, mostly because like everything else here, it involves being limited or the expectation that you're supposed to do something in order to get something. I have a couple other major questions relating to it all.
If certain colors are spoken or flashed to me from “tech” sources, like the internet or TV, is this different than getting them from sources outside in the physical world? If I get a ton of blue online vs blue outside, does this mean something different than if I collected it outside while interacting with actual people?
When I encounter a color purposely planted in my path/view, what does it really mean? For instance if the color orange is constantly flashed, which of the following are true?
I am low on orange energy and they are flashing it to help that chakra, which needs to be activated in some way?
I have an orange energy being/entity inside me and viewing that color will somehow extract them into the world around me?
If I see that color (orange in this case), a record is somehow etched in my mind and accessed later in the dream state, at night, or by the TV, while watching, to get info about me? Is it the proof that I resonate with that color?
For instance, orange represents the son, the boy, #2, sexual, etc, and if it shows up in my vision (the camera), it's somehow telling someone, somewhere, that because my eyes saw it, it's the proof that I resonate that orange energy?
It represents someone’s feelings (color) about me at just that moment? The feelings of someone watching me from another dimension (as if I'm the TV show) and they are giving me that color energy?
Is there someone on board (sharing my body) who resonates with the prominent colors I see? Or maybe just the first color I see for the day?
If the world doesn't actually revolve around me, then what the hell is really happening?
In other areas of this site, I show completely obvious examples about how something very specific to me can influence what is being posted on Twitter or what shows up in the news, sports, on TV, etc. Things supposedly millions of others are witnessing along with me, but not influencing on their own. It's as if I'm Truman in a reality like The Truman Show movie.
Everyone around me laughs or gets pissed when I say stuff like "at times, the world seemingly revolves around me" and they tell me I need to take medication or that I have a chemical imbalance or that I’m simply self centered.
So, if the world doesn't revolve around me or isn't some kind of reflection of me, what the hell is going on? Does everyone else have influence, as well? Do just a small group of us influence the world around us, collectively? Are we in our own pods and somehow when we connect with each other, in person, all the information suddenly changes to something we all know and understand?
When you look at the immense amount of proof I'm providing on this site, in the main sections like Key Moments, Key Moments Jr., Insane Internet Syncs, etc., it's just strange that my entire family shuns me and doesn't want to try to understand what is happening. They say things like "it's happening in YOUR reality, not ours", as if they're not part of the same world I live in.
Who is inflicting these pains/feelings on me?
When I begin to feel things happening to my body, like a sudden pin prick on a random toe, or an ear that suddenly begins to feel like it has something in it, or a sudden pulsing of a bicep, or a sudden headache, or what feels like something sitting on my head or attached to my face (etherically), what is really happening?
I know it's not random and I know it has NOTHING to do with my health, or vitamin deficiencies, or anything remotely scientific or naturally internal.
I believe most of it is being inflicted on me or to some etheric body that is somehow connected or overlapping my own body. Sometimes it seems like an attack on me or as if I am being drained of energy based on the pain I feel.
Sometimes I believe it’s a signal. Like a verification whether what I’m doing at that moment is liked or disliked by someone else experiencing through my body. Or by an audience who is watching me. Or by a band I’m listening to, once I begin to focus on something other than the song I’m listening to, etc.
Sometimes it happens when I'm trying to go back to sleep, as if someone doesn't want me to end up in the "in between" between sleep and awake or in the dreamscape, so they zap me awake (as mentioned a few entries above).
At times, it seems like what I’m experiencing is an actually physical body in some other dimension/reality and I am weak enough here that I begin to feel what THEY are doing to their own body...as if we're connected in some way. Other times it seems like someone simply has a voodoo doll of myself and is just fucking with me.
I'm not really sure what it is, but I need to know what is really happening.
Is my heart really just a home for people in my life to reside in?
Does everyone I know or give energy to end up existing in my own heart and there’s only so much room that can be occupied?
For instance, when I ate an entire bag of super spicy potato chips and they were completely fucking me up, suddenly my friend Ivan called me and said he was leaving (which sounded strange and I didn’t really understand what he meant). He then clarified that he was leaving America.
The timing was very suspicious and it seemed like a coded message and that he actually meant leaving my heart. He called right as I was in the middle of purposely trying to damage myself with the hottest bag of potato chips imaginable as a message to the “universe” about me not giving a fuck about being here.
It was as if the eating filled up too much space in my heart and he just couldn't stay there anymore, or didn't want to, because it was unhealthy food.
If your heart is full of people who actually love you or vice versa, are you are less hungry?
Sometimes when I fall asleep with my head tilted left, while sleeping on my back, I am instantly eating food in the “in between” wake and sleep state and am instantly jarred awake.
I also have this experience if I am fully sleeping on my left side, in dream state. I won’t be jarred awake like when I’m on my back but I still experience mostly dreams involving eating/consuming.
I virtually never have the desire to sleep on my left side and if I choose to experiment with it, it takes forever to fall asleep, if it even happens at all. When it does happen, 80%+ of the time, I end up in dreams where I am eating food or doing something more feminine in nature.
It's crystal clear that LS is female based (body) (the right side of the brain) and RS is male based (mind) (the left side of the brain. Left side dreams also include the feeling I'm residing in (sharing the dream body of) someone who is experiencing insecurity or some other female based traits. I’ve even been referred to as a female name a couple times.
Recently in a LS dream test, I managed to get in front of a mirror during the dream and I was clearly an older man (not myself) and he was dressed as a woman. I recall speaking about it in front of the mirror, but my mouth wasn’t moving. I said out loud “Why isn’t my mouth moving? My mouth isn’t moving.” and then suddenly the person in the mirror begin moving his mouth around (not talking, just moving it in a weird way as if he could hear what I was saying and simply decided to move his mouth).
What is truly happening here? Why is it that I'm instantly consuming or seemingly female in some way while I test the LS?
RS dreams definitely are more mental and appear to be related to the 5th, 6th, 7th chakras (blue, indigo, purple). LS dreams seem to relate to the 3rd, 2nd, 1st chakras (yellow, orange, red). Sleeping directly in the center, on your back, seems to be directly in the middle of the spectrum, green, the 4th chakra, heart.
Perhaps this is why sleeping on the left side brings up lower chakra activities like eating, particularly when the head is angled just to the left, not completely left. Anyway, I need more information about why head position seems to directly correlate to the kinds of dreams we have.
What is really happening when waking in the morning?
In the morning, while dreaming, various people will show up and I will usually wake up as the result of them either liking me or disliking me. The question is…am I waking up because someone chose to be inside me (share my body in waking reality) or because they chose NOT to (as if they decided they didn’t want to spend any more time with me in the dream world)?
Then, if someone IS inside me when I wake up, and I’m acting as some kind of host for them, do I need to keep them from becoming bored in order to feel comfortable throughout the day? Am I supposed to do exciting things to wake them up from some sleep they are in some other dimension while they are sharing my body in my waking state?
Does what I do in waking reality affect their bodies in some other realm where they are currently asleep, dreaming, while inside my body and experiencing what I experience?
Also, if no one wants to "come on board", in my waking life to experience life with me/through my body, am I stuck in dream world until someone wants to? Is the goal to stay there, in the dream, or to get back here and wake up in my bed/current reality? I know I can’t stand my current reality, so this is a big question for me.
(I’ve also gotten the impression that I am only able to remain in dream state if I am being watched by someone there, as if dream state is my own TV channel. If no one wants to watch me and they turn the channel, I wake up here…back in my bed (which would account for me waking up so many times throughout the night). The idea of it being “morning” when you finally get up (with sun out) may actually just be double meaning code for “mourning” as in mourning the fact that you were unable to stay in dream state.)
When I use my TV/video deflection techniques diligently, the colors on screen turn blue/purple. Does that mean they think I’m male…or female? Larger…or smaller? Older…or younger?
I know that when I defect the TV/Netflix/any video properly by darting my eyes all around, never providing “warm” energy, never thinking anything…including negative, judgmental thoughts, they will start flashing constant blue (and then purple) color as a reflection of this. Often times, very masculine actors or strong female actresses will begin to show up, while I’m doing this.
The big question here is: when someone like Liam Neeson or Sean Connery shows up when I’m doing this and they say things like “I need to find this home” (because they want to “break into me” to use me), are they saying this because they believe I’m female and they want to be with me in some way, or do they believe I’m a “cool, large male” and they want to inhabit my body?
I know these beings want to try use the viewer’s body or to somehow utilize them during the sleep state (as a puppet), but I cannot figure out if these beings believe I’m a cool male during these sessions or a female that they want to use to “cool” them down, so to speak. They (the people on screen) run so hot (animalistic, vampires, etc) that they are looking for someone to reside in who runs cold to balance it out?
Do they believe I’m female or male, or does gender not matter and it’s only about believing I run “cool” and they can utilize that to cool down? I know the cooler the colors become the less simple or “easy” they believe I am. They begin to realize it will take more effort to get a reaction/any energy from me.
So, does this simply mean they think I’m an older person who isn’t as easily satisfied/impressed with nonsense like fighting, action scenes, hot girls on screen (all representative of lower frequency) and that I will be able to handle their energy, which is more complex? This is the most important question when it comes to my TV research.
Biggest TV/video Deflection Research Questions:
Are the celebs themselves actual beings of their own or are they just being used by other energies, as a shell? For instance, when someone I’ve given energy to seemingly begins showing up more on screen (or even in my physical reality as a cloned form) does that mean there is some connection between the two of us? Do they contain their own spirit and actually feel/desire to be around me or to witness me?
When I pause something, are they aware that they are paused and do they have to sit there and wait, knowingly, until it’s un-paused? Or do they simply not realize they are suspended in animation? Often times, I’ll pause while watching something in order to collect my thoughts and it will just happen that the person or people on screen will close their eyes at that exact moment, almost as if they are aware they are about to be paused.
Are there others like me? Those who are being kept in the dark and seemingly acting as “lights/beacons” to these beings? If so, are each one of them getting their entirely own universe with their own shows/beings to reflect and use them? Or do others like me exist within my own matrix/reality and they get the same media, but somehow it molds to them?
Is it possible the entities on screen are just actual people who are sleeping in some other dimension and acting out their dreams on screen in order to gain energy so they can wake up in the “real world” again?
If that’s true, am I the same as them but don’t realize it? Is it possible I’m a “TV being” when I’m asleep and then use that energy to come back to life here? Or is “here” punishment for something (or a school/test, jail, purgatory, etc), perhaps for not providing good enough entertainment in the dream state?
Do they feel or are they simply bots extracting energy and colors? I mean is it just a game/money grab for them or are they also humans with needs and desires and they begin to form attachments to the viewers involved?
What exactly are these beings? Are they ghosts that somehow can manipulate technology? Are they simply in the ether and part of all technology (think Lucy or Transcendence movies)? AI? Alien technology that we don’t understand? People acting in the dream state, like I mentioned above?
We know they can create fully vibrant, dreamlike (very real) visuals on screen that look exactly like the world we perceive around us. How do they do this on the fly? It’s very reminiscent of how lucid dreamers control their own dreams in an instant.
Where are they located? We know they’re symbolically “in the tv” (captured within the box we’re watching), but where are they actually residing? I know that they need to weaken the viewer through hypnosis to access them (“escape the TV”), but what is really happening when this happens?
Do these TV beings exist simultaneously all around us in the ether that we cannot see (dark matter/energy?) and somehow they are able to manipulate what we are watching. Are they in some kind of parallel universe that can intersect with ours?
What’s a dog?
A human/pet representation of your heart?
A human/pet representation of a penis?
A human/pet representation of an id (id, ego, superego)?
A human/pet representation of your family/soul (that’s passed over/dead)?
A human/pet representation of God (backwards)?
A human/pet representation of a false God (the idol/celebrity is able to come down to earth and inhabit dog/human bodies to experience the physical with whoever helps bring them here through being a fan of them)?
A big fan of someone (fanboy)?
Some sort of twin flame who represents the other half of your own yin yang (mirrored reflection)?
An artificially intelligent robot who shows love, devotion, and loyalty to whomever it’s bonded to?
Planted with you to help others who are watching you to fall in love with you (like a co-actor you can show love/attention to in order to convince others you are capable of showing love/taking care of someone/something)?
The camera (its eyes) watching you on earth (the moon watching?)?
Someone who has passed but still wants to be here and needs to convince someone who is close to dying (or in between) to let go (to be satisfied enough with their previous life to actually die) so they can come back to life (then the person who dies becomes the dog). So, it may all be a trick. OR the dog will get to come back to life as the parent of the newly reincarnated person who died and they helped cross over (or they come back as the baby, same basic idea)?
One end of a master/slave relationship. “I’ll be your dog” like I’ll be your slave/do whatever you want me to. (this ties in with being a big fan of someone that you do whatever they want, give unconditional love to) (false idol thing)?
TV used the term “you screwed the pooch somewhere along the line” and it makes me feel like these beings take advantage of viewers by hypnotizing them while they watch and then inhabiting their dreams at night, where the viewer is even more represented by their heart and is less likely to use their mind…hence why they can be used as dogs (fans of the celebrity “gods” who they watch and worship in some way). In the dream state, the human fan ends up actually taking the form of a dog to whoever they’ve given the most love/attention to while watching the screen?
The Lucifer connection where a “being” is part of your life and if you show it love, you get rewarded (Kendrick rapping “I’m lucy and I’m your dog and you can have anything you want" as long as you give me love?
A “desire” god (one of your greatest desires that you’re willing to devote your time to, so it acts as a god to you) (alcohol, music, sex, food, fame, money, etc)…and in return, as a reflection of your energy towards it, a metaphoric dog is placed in your reality to give you unconditional love and to help you achieve whatever you’re working towards? Even if that “dog” is actually in human form (like a muse or girlfriend who is really just lying to you about how she feels in order to help you achieve or create)?