Marry, Fuck, Kill

(this one is not complete and is mostly just linked observations/duplicate thoughts)

Marry = Mary = Mother (music, my favorite thing).

Fuck = The Father (food, my second favorite thing (also know now, based on my Alphabet Wheels Theory that F and S are in the same 4 (so food and sex are basically same thing).

Kill = Christ (sacrificed in some way or sacrificing (killing) someone else). C/K/P/X are all in the same group and the X is like a cross and the least used letter in the alphabet (sacrificed) etc)

There is something to my step mom being named K(enyon), her daughter being named K(yla) and my grandmother being named K(atherine).  It’s possible these women (or one woman) wanted to kill (K) me and actually did so and then had to take care of me to try and improve me so they wouldn’t want to kill me anymore. And it's possible this keeps happening over and over again. Maybe I was aborted by a C/K person? Cain killing Abel?

I’ve gotten weird clues, like this very specific sync that I have in my Key Moments section, where it is implying that Kenyon is my arch nemesis.

Named Kenyon (K), but her birth name is Martha, as in MAR(s)tha as in MARy, as in MARry. My father MARried her in 1986 and I moved in with them at the age of 13.

(K) Kenyon's daughter, (K) Kyla's middle name is (M) Maire, and also sounds like the beginning of Marry/Mary. I recently found out my grandma (RIP), Katherine’s middle name was Marie (basically same middle name as Kyla’s but anagrammed).

Oh and Grandma Katherine's (Marie's) daughter is named....MARsha/My Aunt Marsha.

So, we have a MARtha, a MARsha, a MARie, a MAiRe, all central, important female figures in my life. And my father MARried, MARtha in 1986. Not to mention the first girl I had sex with (in high school), while living with MARtha, was named MARisa. AND the first girlfriend I had when I moved to Boston directly out of high school had the last name MARtin. And not only did I date someone named (Gina) MARtin, I began selling Doc MARtins at a store called Allston Beat (Newbury st) at the same time (1992). THEN, not only that….someone named Eric MARcos came into the store and I sold him Doc MARtins and he offered me a job at the Hard Rock Cafe (he was a manager at the time).

I’m not a huge fan of celebrities, but the female celebs I’ve had semi-crushes on over my life often have MARs middle names: Meg Ryan (birth name: MARgaret MARy Emily Hyra), Jessica MARie Alba, Milena (Mila) MARkovna Kunis, Shannyn Marie Sossamone, Halle Maria Berry, etc.

Come to think of it, my father’s middle name, Hiram, backwards is Marih. Hmm.

And of course we have Chakras, which seem to be such a big part of this reality (not that I want anything to do with the system I seem to be forced to learn). Once again, C/K (Chakras/Kenyon) go together in my Alphabet Wheels theory. I also believe that every 7 years of life are governed by the corresponding chakra. So, 0-7 was root chakra, 7-14 was sacral, 14-21 was solar plexus. My solar plexus period began RIGHT when my father suddenly MARried a MARtha, which directly corresponds with the 3rd chakra, which is ruled by Mars. The place I lived at the majority of time I was in Boston, during this 3rd chakra period was “3 Bradford St.”, etc. It is all systematically set up.

In 2005 I began fucking around with Cocaine (C/K, if I go by my own Alphabet Wheel Theory) and on May 1 (mayday, mayday!), I believe I was poisoned by a couple that Mika and I invited over to my loft in Soho.

Unfortunately, I did not know these people beforehand, since we met them through Craigslist (another C/K), that night. I believe they used Special K (C/K) in my water and fucked me up and I've been in some kind of in between reality, ever since.

At the time, I was also doing coke each weekend for the first time in my life and it totally fucks me up and turns me into a lame (more lame) person. I ramble a mile a minute, lose all libido, etc. So did (C)ocaine, Special K, Kyla/Kenyon kill me?

My step-sister Kyla’s nickname is “killer” (killa). That night in 2005 when I feel like I may have been poisoned, and special "K” was the drug being used, the girl from the couple kept talking to me like I was her brother. Her name was Laura (the letter after K), but her vibe seemed like Kyla to me. I'm just stating the truth and how I felt at the time. I mean, her nickname is Killer and everything here is coded/on purpose.

Kyla being born in HAYdenville (hay is a 3rd chakra object/food) and Kyla, Kenyon, and my father living together in Hastings NY (HAY-stings) when I was given to them by my mother in 1987. This is all just so fucking obvious that is corresponds with the move to the 3rd time period of my life from 14-21 (Mars, 3rd chakra, C/K/P/X).

Kenyon was also born in DC which is a huge red flag. Does she represent the government (the rules, the laws) because my father MARried her? The “District of COLUMBIA”, which makes it even more obvious (Columbia known for cocaine/coffee).

MK Ultra = “Martha Kenyon” Ultra? The mind control forced upon me in order to believe in whatever this current reality is, which is somehow associated with Kenyon because my father married her?

"Martha Kenyon Taylor". Kenyon was Martha’s grandfather’s LAST name and she was given that name at birth as her middle name. This means Kenyon is officially the only person that I know, other than myself, that has a name at birth constructed like this.

My name at birth was Aaron Landau Schwarz. My middle name is my real father's last name and my last name is my mom’s ex-husband, Don's, last name. My mom never married my father and her story of why she gave me his last name as my middle name is completely stupid and obviously a lie. But I won’t get into that in this entry.

The Cards (C/K), which I focused on for years, after KENYON introduced me to the main card system and Chakras = Kenyon (Who is an Ace of Spades based on her birthday (the most prominent card in the deck, clearly on purpose (only card with that giant spade/logo on it).

Kenyon was born on a Saturday, which = Saturn (Satan) day and I've already theorized that the reason Saturn has a giant visible ring around it is because the SUN (my father, #7) is married to it (#1, Saturn = root chakra). Saturn and the Sun consummate the marriage directly in between the two of them, on planet Earth, the #4 body. Lucky (my biological mother's husband, basically), also born on Saturday, is nicknamed Lucky because he represents Lucifer.

It's also certainly possible that I'm some extension of my father and was supposed to give up all things that start with C (cocaine, caffeine, coca-cola, candy, chicken, etc) when he married a K (C), even though her birth first name was an M and is a distinct part of the whole "Mary = Marry" thing. It's once again just more confusion in my mind fuck of a reality, but I KNOW there is something to all of this. Mars goes with the C/K/P/X wheel because it’s the 3rd wheel, represented by the Mars governed Solar Plexus, etc…and cocaine went out of fashion, literally, when I moved in with them in 1987. Here is my text from another entry in this section called “Candy Ring”:

“My father, Bill, gave my step mother, Kenyon, a candy ring when they were married in 1986. It was some temporary thing, but I bet it was metaphoric.

I'm not sure of the significance, but I theorize that it represents me giving up eating candy, drinking coca cola, using my Commodore computer, eating chicken, etc (all C things) as a 13 yr old boy when I moved in with them and those items became non-existent in my life. Their household was much healthier than my previous one, with my actual mother.

Maybe my father gave up cocaine at the same time? C for coke, C for candy. The timing is pretty on the mark for when cocaine went out of fashion (1987) and the letter thing corresponds with my alphabet wheel C/K theory (the C and K (Kenyon) are same). So, somehow giving up all those material C things was a trade off for being with Kenyon (as his wife and as my new stepmother).

NOTE: I am now also remembering that my father met my birth mother, Sharon, when she and her best friend, Candy, picked him up when he was hitchhiking (1971-ish). He seemingly could have chosen between my mom and Candy to hook up with but chose my mom and eventually I was conceived in 1972 and born in 1973. Is there a parallel between my step mom Kenyon and Candy?”

It’s also possible that the C/Ks are somehow Christ, other than just the C part, because the 4th letter in their group is X, which is basically a cross. Something to do with the 3rd group of letters (C/K/P/X) sacrificing itself in some way (x is the least used first letter in the alphabet).

May also be some kind of Cain (C/K) killing Abel (A/M) parallel.

(as I mentioned above, this post is just a bunch of thoughts (some duplicate) and I have dozens more that completely relate and will organize this entry at some point later)