1998: is this hell?
What the HELL is going on here?
In December 1998 I move from the West Coast to NJ to stay with my mom for a couple months to look for a job in NYC. My 54 year old mom has a new boyfriend named Lucky (Dale). He’s a heavy biker, drinker, smoker, and basically a Hell’s Angel, even though he’s not officially in that gang. The gang he was in is somehow associated with them. Lucky: HELL's angel.
While at their place, I use Excite to find people to connect with in NYC but it just ends up being a number of girls who want to have sex, which was fine, but wasn’t what I was using it for. After a couple of weeks, I decide I’m just going to take the ad down.
The moment I’m going to take the ad down, I suddenly notice a new response has come in from someone named Mika. Mika is attractive and even though she has sent me half naked, erotic (artistic) photos of herself, she lives in NYC, is in a rock band, etc. So, as a fellow musician, I can’t pass up contacting her back.
The first time I meet her, the band she’s in is playing at gig at CBGBs. We will soon begin dating and I will move into her place in Hell’s Kitchen. HELL’s KITCHEN.Mika’s father just happens to be named Dale, same as my mom’s new boyfriend. He’s physically and mentally ill and in a “home” because her mother is unable to assist him properly. He will die 3 years later, in 2002.
While I’m living under Mika’s roof in HELL's Kitchen I was suddenly thrust into the internet world. My mom learned how to create a basic website with html and she was pressing me to do the same. My father (in AZ) was talking about how much money porn websites make and he even gave me a “learn how to make money with porn sites on the internet” floppy disk and he seemed to be guiding me towards getting involved with the internet in some way.
In 2001, I create the internet’s most successful t-shirt company (for a number of years) called T-Shirt HELL (I have not been involved with T-Shirt Hell since 2012, FYI).
The weird part is, even though I did want to make money, I never had any interest in starting a t-shirt company…or any company for that matter. It was only after I moved to NYC and into Mika's place that I was suddenly focusing on the whole internet thing. I always wanted to be a musician and already had success as a drummer in Boston and Los Angeles (with MTV appearances, etc). I mean, why didn’t I move to NYC and focus on music? Mika DID continue to play in her band, at least for a couple more years.
When T-Shirt Hell was suddenly blowing up, we needed a printer who could handle the work and I was forced to get help. My father went down to Phoenix, which was the closest city to him in Sedona, to check out t-shirt printers. We ended up working with a company called “Five-Star” (pentagram related?).
So, T-Shirt Hell was now based in the hottest city in American, Phoenix. But, not only that, through the advice of an accountant, I would incorporate TSH in Nevada, the city of sin and the SECOND hottest city in America.
T-Shirt HELL, created in HELL's Kitchen was now incorporated and based in HELL (at least it's hot enough to be).
I theorize that my mom's sudden new boyfriend named Lucky represents Lucifer. The fact that his name was Dale and the girl who would suddenly respond to an ad, the night I was taking it down (while temporarily living under the roof of Lucky/Dale), also had a father named Dale, is suspicious.
All the hell stuff is obviously suspicious. I mean, I believed at the time that I was creating the company myself and that I came up with the name myself, etc., but now it just all feels like a sham and a manipulation/illusion. The main question is, what that HELL is going on here?
My Mom’s birthday dinner with me and Lucky.
Some other key points/clues/theories:
I have 3 tattoos. Two of them are devilish. Why? Because I was playing heavy rock music, had long hair, etc. back in the early 90s and tried to be cutting edge (at least that’s what I remember).
The one on my right arm, which is almost completely gone because I've been getting tattoo removal, is of a dog like creature with devil horns. The other, on my left arm, is of someone who appears to be the devil him/herself. My 3rd tattoo is directly in the middle of those two, on my chest, and simply reads ONE.
If the devil represents the evil version of God, then a “devil” dog on the other side represents God backwards. “ONE” tattooed on my chest, directly in the middle of the other two would seem to imply the left and right side are one and the same and represent my heart. The mother (left side) and the father (right side) depicted in this way would imply that my parents are evil, with my mom representing the actual God/Devil of the two.
Included as part of the Lucifer/Lucky mind fuckery about this whole situation, Mika’s band, Channeling Owen, had a song titled “Lucky", which was one of their best songs. Here's the song:
When I moved in with Mika, she tried to keep it secret that she had Lupus. Of course I found out soon enough. Lu-pus has to be Lu-cifer related.
Lucky was born on a Saturday (red day, Saturnday/Satanday), making it all the more likely he represents Lucifer. Kenyon, my suspicious new-age stepmother, was also born on a Saturday.
Lucid Dream = Lucifer Dream (where you get to control things, even though it might not be real (or you’re not supposed to be doing so). The movie Vanilla Sky depicts this.
Jesus = Fame (the star of the show (the Sun (the father), the "star" of our solar system, represented on Earth).
Lucifer = Money (the second brightest light in the sky (Venus) after the Sun = The second most important (materialistic) thing to people (those who choose to take form in a physical body) after fame. If the angel Lucifer helps you, you are bestowed with money. Does Lucifer = Luck (the supposed luck that is involved in becoming successful)?
Jesus is not Lucifer. The desire for fame (attention) is greater than the desire for money, hence why Jesus is the star. With the advent of social media and the internet, that "star" has gotten so damn bright (desire to be noticed/famous) that you cannot even look at it without going blind (the sun is much brighter today than 30 years ago).
Lucifer = morning light = a spotlight (being watched/being a star/illuminati, etc). BUT it’s not real love/light. It’s NEON. Jesus, heart chakra = love (even though it’s probably all bullshit too). Fame = wanting to be loved with heart attention (4th chakra) vs wanting money (cum/2nd chakra attention).
Some youtube guy says Jesus is the sun/son and Lucifer is the black sun. I believe Lucifer may be the bringer of false light, so this makes sense (false light = the last 18 years of my life with Mika/Lucky involved?).
Lucy in the sky with diamonds = Lucifer in the sky (wishes?) with people who wish to make money for happiness. (or actually I’m realizing the whole 2nd chakra, orange = deadly sin: lust. (and remember my “father” giving me "learn how to make money with porn on the internet" disks to start a website) (and Mika’s NYC apartment was painted orange because she said it was her fav color (she was also born on a Sunday, orange day).
When I decided not to be with my fiancée, Milena, at the turn of the Millennium and instead moved to NYC, Lucky (Lucifer) appeared and I was suddenly focused on making money (and Mika and my mom presented internet based things for me to learn/focus on). I think Mika represented Lucifer/Lucky and was there to help me accomplish something but I assume it’s all a sham and being dictated by her (or she is acting only as a handler) and that this reality is simply a matrix/illusion and she/he is in control and the only real “success” (which is just manufactured by her/him) would come from me loving her/him.
While I was staying at my mother's place, I focused for a short time on writing an easy to use guide based on the card system by Olney Richmond/Robert Camp that Kenyon (my stepmother) introduced me to when I was visiting her and my father in Sedona, right before moving to my mom’s. Now that I look back on it, it was probably all part of the evil plan at work and the cards, this new system I had been previously unaware of, was part of everything that would come after as I would use them and talk about them constantly to help assist my efforts to become successful/make money.
Worshiping Lucifer is worshiping those who are "illuminated". Being illuminated means being put in a position of power as a celebrity....as a star?
The act of clapping...applause....is putting both of your hands together over and over. If you stop the action when the hands are together, it's a form of prayer. YOU ARE PRAYING for your false idol when you are clapping for them.
Whether you are applauding an entertainment performance or your own child putting on a show, playing sports, etc. You are applauding achievement and this is false love. - I ponder people asking for autographs is just a parallel of signing a contract with the devil and they remind you by having either real people or plants placed there to get your autograph all the time as a reminder.
The audience, who are pawns and have to struggle to survive, loves the false idol, who is in a better position than them in life. This is a form of false love. Lucifer = false love. False light, etc.
Lucifer, the morning star = the MOURNING star who is accepting false love in place of real, true love. The selling of the soul for money, even if the entire thing is a lie and set up by those who illuminate them on purpose. L = B/L/O/Y in my alphabet wheel theory, which = the 2nd chakra (orange, cum, MONEY). So maybe this is the key.
The pawns who end up stuck having to survive with menial nonsense and have to be part of this terrible existence as basically slaves, give the "illuminated" stars attention. The pawns who give the most attention to false idols get to become false idols themselves (are given talent and false light (are made stars).
What I'm saying is...people on earth who neglect their own families, own friends, other actual human beings around them, and instead give most of their attention/false love to celebrities, are selling their souls. AND THEN they get to become the illuminated themselves.
Dog = smelling, eating, loving, humping, etc. Dog = Lucy = Lucifer (red/devil/etc) (Lucky is the dog and Mika is somehow connected to him and I’m somehow connected to my mother?). Lucky is also 33 in numerology (extremely suspicious Freemasonry number) and a dog in Chinese Zodiac. Mika is also a dog in Chinese Zodiac.