(The following represents the kind of entries I have not included on the main site because how do you really convince anyone that, at times, the world seemingly revolves around you?)

1/13/2018: ballistic missile

I’ve needed to do laundry for a couple days now and have no clean clothes left. I only use unscented products but when I tried to buy these items over the last couple days, whether through a same day delivery service, or me deciding to venture out in the wild (something I wouldn't normally do because it's always some disaster), no one has them. It's been pretty odd.

So, I decided to just order them through Von's grocery delivery and wait another day to get them. I ordered a number of other things, just to make it worth it, but really, the only reason I'm placing a grocery delivery order is for the laundry products:

The EXACT moment the Von's delivery guy was arriving, Hawaii got a major emergency text about a ballistic missile incoming and for people to take shelter:

The alert occurred at 8:07 HI time, which was 10:07 my time.

My delivery guy arrives, gives me my stuff, and then I closed the door and began putting everything away. About 4 minutes later, I suddenly realize the laundry products, the only items I made the order for in the first place, were missing from the fucking bags. The items I had tried for 3 straight days to purchase from ANYONE.

I doubted the delivery truck was still outside as it had already been about 4 minutes since I closed the door but I ran to the door and the second I opened it, I saw his truck still parked out front, but suddenly it was pulling out into the street to leave. It was almost as if he timed it perfectly to wait for the second I opened the door.

Somehow, though, I was able to get his attention and stop him before he left. I told him about the missing items and he had no idea what to say and didn't believe he had them, but decided to go back to his truck to check. Sure enough he showed back up with the missing bag and claimed it had been labeled improperly.

Here is the "ballistic missile" false alarm tweet that occurred at 8:20 HI time which was 10:20 my time...and right after my delivery guy officially left:

That tweet came in 13 minutes after the original “ballistic” warning and basically the moment I established I had received the items I had been trying so hard to attain and was virtually finished putting away my groceries.

You can see from the songs in the graphic below, by the times shown on the right side, that the song that ended right before the delivery guy showed up and virtually the exact moment the ballistic missile warning text went out at 8:07 HI time (10:07 L.A. time) was “Know Your Enemy”. This song just happened to be on because I have my iTunes on shuffle. Interesting.

The next song I listened to actually started playing before I had to pause it to get the door when the delivery guy initially showed up. I then un-paused it while unloading the first part of my groceries and then had to pause it again when I had to flag the guy down suddenly. I finished listening to it while putting the remaining groceries away...and this is why a 6 minute song ended 15 minutes from when the previous song was over. I’m just showing you this so you can see the timing correspond with the HI missile tweets.

Ok, so let me explain what I believe occurred. This delivery guy was going to cause the ballistic missile which was a metaphor for the reaction I was about to have after realizing the items I’ve been trying to get for days were missing and it was too late to catch him. BUT I managed to catch him right before it happened, hence the false alarm tweet from the state of HI, 13 minutes after.

They claimed the alert was “human error” which I suspect means the guy not grabbing the proper bag or someone not labeling it correctly. Or was the delivery guy purposely set up to try and fuck with me as a test to see how I’d respond?

BTW, my “ballistic" reaction would have been more because I knew I was being fucked with, NOT because a couple items were missing. I was SUPER close to going on a curse rampage and when I get angry it’s like a 7.0+ earthquake.

NOTE: a couple weeks later the public would find out that the alert was supposed to be a test and that the person who sent the alert out didn't realize that and thought it was real:

This makes what happened to me make even more sense. The guy who delivered my groceries seemed to wait JUST long enough until I re-opened the door after already putting a number of items away. It’s as if he did it on purpose because the whole thing was a test.